


By the sword

by UndeadFae



Category: Inazuma Eleven
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, I Swear It Ends Well, M/M, Noragami AU, Not Beta Read, Temporary Character Death, fudou is also there, kidou is there, teikokuweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24402829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndeadFae/pseuds/UndeadFae
Summary: A god should never speak to a human, let alone try to befriend them. Someone should've really reminded Sakuma of that before everything went downhill. Sometimes he felt like a really selfish god.Day 3 of teikokuweek: Alternate Universe
Relationships: Genda Koujirou/Sakuma Jirou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	By the sword

**Author's Note:**

> i love noragami ok  
> i couldn't pick a single idea i don't know how i managed to get this done

It was rare for a simple human to catch a god's attention. First and foremost, it was a waste of time to actively engage with them when it would only take mere hours or even minutes for their memories to fade away. Then, their lifespans were yet another barrier.

They lived in two very different worlds despite walking the same earth.

Sakuma was one of those gods that, against all better judgement, spent far more time than what he should've observing humans, almost living among them. He fought to protect them, to avenge those who were wronged and hurt, it was only fair to keep an eye on them, right?

He knew damn well it would come back to bite him in the ass one day, gods shouldn't even come close to humans unless it was absolutely necessary. When he ran into that human with messy auburn hair and blue eyes, he knew already he had completely screwed up.

Well, to be fair it wasn't completely his fault. The ball just so happened to end up in his face. Painfully.

"Shit- sorry, are you okay? I didn't mean to hit you, really-" At least he did sound very sorry.

"I-it's fine, don't worry... I wasn't really looking, it's not your fault." Sakuma sort of rubbed his nose, wincing at the pain. The human flinched, tucking the ball under his arm and offering him a hand to help him get up.

"Still... let me make up for it- what can I do for you?" Sakuma opened his mouth to once again refuse, only to close it right away. It was selfish of him, sure... but curiosity won in the end. Maybe if he was careful it wouldn't be so bad...

"Show me the city, then? I'm... kinda new here, I wouldn't mind taking a better look around." The human blinked, seemingly taken aback by the request. Then, he smiled and nodded.

"Sounds fair. I'll show you the best places around here, then!"

The weird human took him mostly to cat cafes with the occasional sightseeing thrown in. Sakuma didn't mind, even when most of the little furry demons either hissed at him or ran away. Must've been scared off by his odd aura, not like he cared, it was nothing new. The human seemed to live swarmed by those things, though. Sakuma refused to admit that it was adorable.

"Can I see you again tomorrow, then?" It took a moment for his question to sink in. Sakuma stared at him like he had suddenly turned into an Ayakashi.

"Really? Like- seriously? You don't mind?"

"Why would I? You seem pretty cool! I'll see you tomorrow then! Same park, tomorrow at this hour." Without even bothering to wait for an answer, the human waved goodbye and left.

Well, that was something.

* * *

He shouldn't have gone back to the park, really- there was no way that guy would show up, not when he had probably forgotten all about him within a few hours.

He went anyways.

To his surprise, the human did show up, even waved at him to catch his attention. He remembered him. That... was weird. Weird, but not unwelcome.

The next few days were the same, meeting near the park and just chatting and spending time together. It was new, something he wasn't used to... but it felt nice. Warm. Sakuma liked it.

* * *

"So... what's that for?" He remembered seeing humans with those balls sometimes, yet whatever they were used for was still unknown to him, far too busy with the ugly things lurking in the dark and other god's businesses to really sit down and watch the humans he protected. It felt almost silly in hindsight, trying so hard to help and protect people and yet knowing so little of them. Maybe it was time to find out more.

The human's face lit up at the question. Sakuma had to wonder how it was possible for him to be so bright- he swore it could make someone go blind.

"It's for soccer- ever played it? I'm my team's keeper!" Truth to be told, Sakuma had no clue what he was talking about. At all. It must've showed pretty clearly too, if the very detailed explanation he threw himself into was anything to go by.

By the end of it, Sakuma was fairly sure he hadn't understood anything more than the basic rules and positions -if he even got that in the first place-, yet that guy seemed pretty satisfied with his poor understanding of the sport. He made a mental note of looking into it later at home.

Then, came the surprising question.

"Wanna give it a try?" He just offered Sakuma the ball with an expectant grin, like he really thought everything he just said was more than enough to convince him. Well, it didn't sound too hard, maybe it was worth a try.

He would soon regret those words.

When he effortlessly caught his shot once again, Sakuma was all but ready to give up and scream. So what if he had never played soccer before, it shouldn't be possible for a human to best a god so easily.

"I-it's not fair!" Pausing to once again regain his breath, Sakuma pointedly ignored the chuckle that definitely did not come from that guy. "You... You shouldn't be so good-!" He just shrugged, completely unapologetic.

"What can I say? I've had plenty of practice. I can keep helping you if you want to...?" As anyone would reasonably do, Sakuma pouted. A god helped by a human... now that wasn't something he would live down any time soon.

"... Y-yes... B-but know that I'll definitely beat you if you do!" He just chuckled in answer.

"I'll wait for you then."

* * *

The human wasn't there that day.

Maybe he was just running late. Maybe something happened and he couldn't come yet. Sakuma just sat down on a bench and waited for him. He refused to believe he had already forgotten about him, no matter how easy to think that was. And so he waited, he waited and waited and kept waiting until it was far too dark to be around. Maybe he just forgot they were going to meet that day. Maybe he just got sick. It's not like they had any way of communicating to know for sure.

He would wait for him again the next day.

Sakuma wasn't sure how many days passed. All he knew was that the human wasn't going to come anymore. It shouldn't have surprised him, but it still didn't sit right with him. Something felt off, wrong, that much he could tell. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, his refusal to accept that his friend just forgot about him and decided to move on with his life without him, but he still wanted answers. He wanted to be sure of what happened, even when the truth might just hurt him more than whatever his mind could come up with.

And so he started searching. It wasn't easy when he was invisible to nearly every other human and didn't even know where to look, but he tried nonetheless.

Even after days of looking into every place he remembered visiting together, he found nothing, no sign or trace of the weird guy with untamed hair that begrudgingly grew on him. It was like he simply vanished. Sakuma did not like it one bit.

When Sakuma was about to give up and leave, he noticed it. A cat near the corner leading into a dark street, unnoticed by the few passerbys, staring right at him with deep blue eyes. Perhaps it was just curiosity, perhaps it was that eerie not-quite-natural vibe the animal held, but against all better judgement, Sakuma decided to approach it.

When he was almost close enough to touch it, the cat walked away and into the dark street behind it, stopping just a few feet away to stare at him again. The silent request to be followed didn't go unnoticed, and it was all Sakuma really needed to know that this cat was far from normal. Even with an animal's natural sixth sense for the things from the other side, there was still something not quite right. Maybe it was stupid to keep trying to catch up with it, to give in to the demands of a pet, but Sakuma tried anyways.

The cat led him deep into that tiny street, then another, another and another until Sakuma wasn't quite sure where they were anymore. He almost gave up when the last turn took him into a dead end, only holding in a frustrated sigh when the cat pawed at his leg until it got his attention, to then swiftly walk into a decaying door's tiny creak.

The building had been long since abandoned and forgotten, left to rot away in the dark, its original purpose now unidentifiable. With a hand over his mouth to keep the dust out of his lungs and careful steps, Sakuma kept following the cat. It didn't take much longer to know why he was brought there.

The first thing that hit him was the stench of death, the blood so heavy in the air he could almost taste the iron in his mouth. Then, between the dark, clouds of dust and dried blood puddles, he saw the corpse, awkwardly and carelessly dumped on the concrete ground like a broken puppet, limbs broken and twisted. Even with its poor and messy condition, even having to look at him through his sight blurred with unshed tears, Sakuma already knew who it was.

"... I didn't even know your name."

* * *

Kneeling in front of the nameless grave, Sakuma carefully left the flowers in front of the marker. The air felt heavy, the silence oppressive and his thoughts haunting.

He deserved better than this. He deserved better than a cruel and untimely death, than having his body thrown away like trash and abandoned where no one would ever find him, than being buried without anyone knowing what happened to him or even where to mourn him. Sakuma couldn't even find out who his family was, whether he even had someone that cared enough about him to search for him.

It was too late to regret his selfish choices, to go back and stop mingling with humans and their lives when he had no right to even speak to them.

It wasn't fair.

The cat- his soul was still following him, watching his own grave with an eerie calm. Maybe he didn't even know anymore that it was his the life abandoned there to rot and fade away.

It was a stupid, selfish decision, one he would likely come to regret in the future, but... he couldn't just turn away and leave a lost, confused soul to become the lamb among the wolves lurking in the dark. He had to do something, to protect what little light was left in such a somber day.

"... Do you want to become my shinki?"

The cat pawed at his leg, and Sakuma desperately wanted to hope it was a yes. He would take this mistake to his grave anyways, whenever that time would come.

* * *

He took a sudden turn that night on his way home. He left a nearby store with a new soccer ball for his new friend and a warm smile on his face. A wasted driver lost control of his car. That was all it took.

Sakuma didn't even want to imagine how it ended with his dead body abandoned in a forgotten, dusty building. While his new shinki was still blissfully unaware of the world, Sakuma allowed himself to cry over the innocent soul he just brought back to hell.

* * *

The day he named him, Sakuma felt too numb to even take a good look at the weapon he had just turned him into.

As much as he would've liked to just give him a normal human life and forget about the mess he caused, he knew ignoring everything would make things worse. Koujirou didn't deserve that.

And that was how god and shinki found themselves stepping into the human world in the evening. He still had the duty of getting rid of Ayakashi and impurities, after all.

When Sakuma called Koujirou's name and took a good look at his new form, his heart nearly stopped.

A katana, a symbol of tradition and the weapon of a warrior, of a proud guardian striving to protect and to bring justice. There was a cruel irony in giving such a weapon to someone who wasn't even capable of keeping one human -a friend- alive, not even able to ever let him have the justice he deserved.

It was too late to regret it now. He had to help Koujirou get used to his new life.

The blade was light and sharp, slashing through flesh and bones with a terrifying ease, the shinki taking his new role to heart and striving to fulfill it to the best of his abilities. It was startling how such a pure and bright soul so easily became such an efficient weapon.

It didn't make Sakuma feel any better.

How could he have so easily condemned someone so innocent to an eternity in hell?

* * *

There was something haunting his god, that much Koujirou could tell, could see in the way his smiles never quite reached his eyes, in how he looked ready to run away and hide as soon as they stepped into the human world. Whatever it was, it was slowly eating him alive, had already been doing so for days, maybe even weeks.

As his shinki, as his friend, Koujirou refused to keep watching in silence.

“What’s the matter?” Sakuma looked almost taken aback by the question, to then quickly shake his head.

“It’s… it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” That was very obviously not the answer he wanted.

“It’s not nothing if it’s bothering you so much- you’re my master, so let me help, please.” Sakuma didn’t seem to take that too well.

"Please, don't call me that- just Sakuma is fine."

“R-really? But you… you’re…”

“I know that I’m your god. And I’m telling you it’s fine.” His smile didn’t leave much room for questions.

“Alright… Sakuma.”

Somehow, it didn’t feel as wrong as he expected it to.

* * *

Their fighting skills were improving, slowly but surely. Koujirou was adapting to his role with ease, getting the hang of it faster than Sakuma had expected him to. It was relieving in a way, knowing he’d be able to at least protect himself if it came to it.

That night, the Ayakashi were much more than he had expected. He wasn’t sure what happened in that place to attract so many, but he didn’t care either- they had a job to do now. He could feel Koujirou's worry at the sight.

“Don’t worry- you’ll be fine, just focus on the fight, alright?”

“I’m more worried about you, but fine…”

It all was going well at first, just like Sakuma expected. Their teamwork was flawless, slaying monster after monster with an eerie ease.

It went to hell as soon as the Ayakashi grouped up, more of them crawling out of the shadows shrieking and crying. Sakuma now realized that this wouldn’t be as easy as he expected- he wasn’t even sure if they could get out of there unscathed anymore.

Then, an Ayakashi clawed at him. Sakuma didn’t have the time to completely dodge, sharp claws hitting the blade that was suddenly in the way- and chipping it.

Sakuma felt more than heard the scream of pain that followed.

His eye widened as the strength of the hit sent him to the ground, barely keeping his grip on the handle tight enough not to drop him.

“K-Koujirou- w-what’s wrong- you-”

“I-I’m fine-! Watch out!” Sakuma barely rolled out of the way in time to avoid the Ayakashi trying to crush him.

“Y-you-”

“I _said_ I’m fine- focus on the fight!”

He hated to admit it, but Koujirou was right- he needed to focus, for their own wellbeing. Reluctantly, he prepared himself to face the monsters again.

“Fine- hold on a little longer, we’ll take care of you soon.”

Once he composed himself enough to keep fighting, the rest of the fight was faster to get through, now more alert for any sudden danger. As soon as it was all over, Sakuma called his name, already at his side to check on him.

When he reverted, Koujirou was on the ground, a hand clutching his face and blood seeping through his fingers. Sakuma froze at the sight, only snapping out of it when he heard Koujirou's pained hiss, rushing to his side as he pushed back his panic to help.

“K-Koujirou-! I-it’s alright- can you get up? We need to go clean it-” he stopped on his tracks, breath hitching as he finally saw them. With the darkness of the night, they were hard to see, but there they were, purple, sickening splotches against his skin, slowly spreading. “K-Koujirou- get up, we need to go _now_.”

“W-what-”

“The Ayakashi- they blighted you, we need to clean the blight so please move now!” The increasing panic in his voice was enough to force Koujirou to get up, hissing as more blood spilled from his wounds. Sakuma didn’t hesitate to take his arm and force him to run, not flinching when the blight started spreading to his hands. He only calmed down a bit when they finally reached the closest temple, sighing in relief as he pulled Koujirou closer to the water fountain.

Thankfully, the blight didn’t spread enough to be a life threatening danger, taken care of fairly quickly. That was already one less thing to worry about. His eye, on the other hand…

As soon as they got back home, Sakuma made him sit down and press a cloth against the still bleeding injuries while he rushed to get a first aid kit. He flinched at the bloody sight once they removed the cloth to clean it all up, pushing back his worry to get to work.

“I think… we’ll have to stay here for a while. Until you’re healed.”

“What- no, we don’t have to wait, I can still fight-”

“Koujirou.” He cut himself off at the surprisingly stern tone. “Don’t… please, don’t push yourself. I can’t… I can’t lose you. Just wait until you’re healed…”

Koujirou didn’t keep protesting, quiet as he allowed Sakuma to bandage his injury. When he was done, he sighed, inspecting his own work. There was a thick layer of bandages wrapped around Koujirou's head, his right eye hidden under them. Sakuma could only hope nothing would be wrong with it.

When it was time to take off the bandages, Sakuma couldn’t help the guilty festering in his stomach at the sight of newly formed, still tender scars. Koujirou tried to tell him that it was okay, that it wouldn’t happen again. He couldn’t bring himself to believe that.

It was taking a while before either of them felt like going back into fighting. Koujirou could see how much it was hurting him, Sakuma looking away whenever his eye found the scars on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Sakuma flinched, looking away like he had been caught red handed. “And don’t lie to me. I might not be able to feel your emotions, but I can tell you’re hurt.”

“… You got hurt because of me… I’m sorry…”

So that was it. Koujirou already expected it to be something like that, but to hear it from him…

“It wasn’t your fault.” Sakuma looked at him, ready to protest. “I got in the way- I was trying to protect you… and I don’t regret it. So don’t blame yourself.”

He… he did that…?

“Y-you… but why…?”

“Why not? It might be my duty as your shinki, but… you’re also my friend. I wanted to protect you- like you protected me… when you saved my soul.”

Sakuma was quiet, staring at him, words stuck in his throat. He… not only he didn’t blame him… he was grateful? He wanted to do this?

“… I’m glad to be your shinki.”

That did it. Sakuma didn’t say anything, just stepped closer and wrapped his arms around him, holding him as close an as tightly as he could manage into a hug. He couldn’t be any more grateful for having him, as tragic as their history together as god and shinki had started.

Was it selfish of him to be glad to have Koujirou as his shinki?

Maybe it was. He almost didn’t care.

“I’m glad you are… but please, be more careful…” He wasn’t sure he could take seeing him so hurt again.

“I’ll try.”

It was the most Sakuma would get from him, he knew it. It would have to do, as much as he wanted to just be sure that he’d be safe from now on.

* * *

That day, Sakuma had announced that they were going to see one of his friends. Something about increasing Ayakashi attacks and having to investigate, Koujirou wasn’t sure.

It would be the first time Koujirou ever met another god. Even with Sakuma’s reassurance that it was alright and they were old friends, he couldn’t really help a hint of nerves showing. Sakuma had taken notice, if the way he suddenly took his hand to reassure him was anything to go by. And it worked, even when Koujirou was fighting back a blush.

“We just have to discuss some things to make sure everything’s alright- it’ll be quick, I promise.”

“Alright…” It was not alright, but for Sakuma, he would gladly put up with it.

Koujirou already knew that while luxurious, their home in the heavens was far from the fanciest place a god could have. He didn’t mind, really, it still felt comfortable like a home should be.

Finding himself in front of Kidou’s mansion, however? It made him feel like their house was just an apartment in the middle of the city.

“Koujirou- this is Kidou, that’s his shinki, Akio.” Koujirou waved to greet them. Akio sneered.

“So you finally found yourself a-”

“ _Akio_.”

“Fine, fine- I get it.” He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, acting more like a high school kid trying too hard to be cool rather than one of the shinki of a powerful god. Koujirou was… honestly surprised. Of all the things he expected to see that day, a shinki acting so casually with other gods was a new one. Kidou just sighed, shaking his head.

“Just… just show Koujirou around while we talk, I guess.” When he turned to Koujirou, Kidou put his best smile on, still a bit too exasperated by his shinki to do much better than that. “If you need anything feel free to ask, alright?”

* * *

If there was one thing Akio was absolutely awful at, it was doing small talk. This new shinki being so reserved and serious didn’t help either. Curse Kidou for leaving him in this spot.

“So… you are the great Sakuma Jirou’s new shinki.” Koujirou absently hummed in affirmation. Then, he realized, stopping on his tracks, his eyes wide.

“Wait- his name is Jirou-?”

“What, he hasn’t even told you th- oh, wait.” Right- his name is Koujirou. And his god is… oh. That… it made sense for him to keep the secret. _Why_ he had picked that name, that was an entirely different story. One Akio wasn’t sure he wanted to hear. This was so going to be a mess. “Y-you shouldn’t overthink it, alright? As long as he cares about you then you’ll be fine, don’t sweat it.” It was a poor attempt at reassuring him. Akio wanted to slap himself for it.

He wasn’t really sure how they got through the rest of the visit with the lingering awkwardness, but he was very much relieved to see them leave.

Something had been bothering Koujirou ever since they had left Kidou’s home. Sakuma wasn’t sure what to make of it- had Akio let something slip? Did he do something to get on his nerves? It wouldn’t be the first time.

Eventually, before he could ask and start dealing with the increasing negative emotions, Koujirou stopped walking, finally looking at him.

“… Why is my name Koujirou?”

There it was. The question Sakuma never wanted to answer. He couldn’t really get out of this one anymore, could he? The last thing he wanted was upsetting him- or worse. Now he just felt stupid for his decision.

“Please, answer me. Why did you name me Koujirou? Is it because of your name?”

He had no choice. He had to explain himself now before his own shinki could think even worse of him than he already was. The doubt stinging him was already painful enough.

“Y-you… promise you won’t laugh at me-”

Koujirou blinked, staring at him, too stunned at first to say anything. Sakuma wasn’t just embarrassed- he sounded almost… ashamed. This was serious.

“I promise- whatever it is, I won’t look at you the wrong way for it.”

Sakuma took a deep breath. He could feel it through their bond- Koujirou was serious. There was no going back now.

“I… w-well… I-I wanted you to have… at least a part of my soul… w-when I named you. I didn’t want you to feel like just a weapon when you deserve so much more than that… you’re just- really important to me, so…”

He wouldn’t say that it was partly the guilt speaking, still too painfully aware that he could very well be the reason Koujirou’s mortal life was cut short too soon.

Koujirou was still staring at him, still not knowing what to say, how to reply to that. Sakuma was already panicking- of course that was a mistake, why hadn’t he thought about this before? Why did he have to be so stupid to get so attached to a human in the first place? Why-

“… Thank you.”

Sakuma looked at him, eye wide and speechless.

“… What?”

“Thank you.” Koujirou didn’t hesitate to repeat himself. “You… you cared enough to give me your name. You wouldn’t do that… unless you cared for me that much, right?”

That… was not the reaction he expected. But it was a welcome one. Koujirou was accepting it, and that was more than what he could’ve ever asked for.

“… So… you really don’t care…?” Koujirou shook his head, and Sakuma couldn’t help his relieved sigh. “I’m glad… sorry for hiding this… I wasn’t… wasn’t really sure how you would take it…”

“I get it now… it’s alright…” It would take some time to get used to, for sure, but at least it was all cleared up. “… Can I call you Jirou, then?”

Sakuma just smiled.

“I would really like that.”

* * *

Something was different with Koujirou lately. Sakuma wasn’t quite sure what to make of it yet.

There was a new feeling coming from him, he could feel it perfectly clear, something warm and pleasant, completely in contrast with how he was acting- defensive, reserved and trying not to look at him, always dodging questions with lies and excuses. To say he was puzzled by the odd behavior was an understatement- of all the shinki he’s had in the past, no one had ever behaved this way before.

With the half assed excuse of a meeting to discuss important godly matters, Sakuma managed to meet up with Kidou. With all the shinki he still has, he should be able to help, right?

… Except Kidou was staring at him like he was the biggest idiot on Earth and Heaven after listening to him.

“… D-did I say something weird? O-or do something wrong?”

“Are you… really not realizing what’s going on here?” Sakuma blinked. Kidou sighed, hiding his face in his hands. “You- you really didn’t realize it.”

“What?! What is it?! Does he- oh no, I’m feeling it again, is something wrong?” Kidou sighed, realizing that he really couldn’t keep it a secret from him, not when he was panicking this much.

“I should definitely not be the one telling you this… but that. That’s a crush. Sakuma- he’s in love with you.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Then, Sakuma nearly screamed.

While he waited for his god to be done with their meeting, Koujirou aimlessly wandered around Kidou’s mansion. He had been told he could ask if he needed something, but he didn’t quite feel like it would be right to bother any of the other shinki- who knows what sort of important things they were doing for their own god. And so he settled for taking a look around, awkwardly waving at any shinki he stumbled upon and hurrying to leave them to their own devices.

It was all over when he ran into Akio.

“What- you came to visit or something?” Koujirou inwardly groaned, mustering up all of his patience. As much as Kidou had liked to claim that Akio was a strong and dependable shinki, the same couldn’t be said for his personality. He wouldn’t be surprised if someone told him he had stung Kidou at least a few times. Regardless, he still tried his best to befriend the other shinki. Afterlife was lonely when you could only talk to your own god.

“Sa- Jirou wanted to come talk about something. He insisted he didn’t need me around, so…” He wasn’t really sure why he had corrected himself in front of the other shinki- wouldn’t it be weird for anyone else to hear him refer to his god in such a casual way? Wouldn’t they look down on them both, judge them for something like this?

Fudou’s sudden snort stopped him from overthinking.

“Jirou? You’re going out already?” Koujirou blinked, staring at him.

“… What?”

“… You haven’t realized it yet? Are you really that dense?” Koujirou was still staring. Akio sighed. “I can’t believe this- you both are hopeless.”

“What are you even talking about? What about Sakuma and I?” Now this was just getting on his nerves. And on Akio’s as well, if his desperate groan was anything to go by.

“Come on, you can’t actually be so dense you’re not seeing the big fat crush you have on each other!”

A moment of silence. Koujirou stared at him with wide eyes, gaping as he tried to say something and no words came out, his cheeks tinting red. That had to be Akio just messing with him, right? … Right?

Akio blinked, staring at him in growing disbelief.

“… You can’t be serious. I know I’m an asshole most of the time, but even I wouldn’t step so low as to lie to you about this!”

As much as he refused to believe any of this, Akio was right- as annoying as he liked to be, he never tried to actually hurt anyone’s feelings. So if he was right… oh. Oh no.

“W-w-wait- but if the gods can feel what we feel-” oh this was just getting worse. Akio just snickered as he saw his face quickly turn bright red. Trying to hide it in his hands was a poor attempt at avoiding further embarrassment, the tip of his ears just as red as the rest his face, a low whine leaving him. There was no way out of this now, was there?

“Don’t go dying again without talking to your dear god first now-”

Akio was definitely not helping.

* * *

The walk out of the mansion was… awkward, to say the least. Neither god nor shinki were looking at each other- or even speaking, just walking in an uncomfortable silence. By now, they both knew very well that they had to address the issue, even when neither of them wanted to start.

Then, Sakuma stopped walking. He could feel the worry from his shinki spiking.

“Hey… Do you feel like stopping by somewhere and getting ice cream before going back?” Koujirou finally looked at him, worry fading just a bit before nodding. It was a start, at least.

A few minutes later, the two were sitting at a café, waiting for their order. Koujirou was fiddling with his hands, staring down at his lap. Sakuma was looking away, tapping his fingers on the table, his other hand playing with a strand of hair. He let out a soft sigh as he looked at Koujirou, now fully realizing that there was no way he would get him to start talking.

“… Kidou helped me figure it out.” Now Koujirou looked up at him with wide eyes and at loss for words. Before he could panic –even more-, Sakuma raised his hands, trying to reassure him. “I-it’s alright, I’m not mad or anything!”

“… Really?” He didn’t sound too convinced, but decided to believe him. After all, if something was really wrong, Sakuma would just take away his name and leave him behind, right?

“I promise- you haven’t done anything wrong, alright?” He sighed again, this time in relief, when Koujirou seemed to calm down and believe him at least a bit. “I just… I hoped coming here would make this easier… sorry for freaking you out so much.”

“It’s alright- it’s not your fault.” Well, at least they were on the same page now, nowhere near as awkward as before. “… I guess we both know by now… Akio said you… y-you-”

“He said what-” somehow, Sakuma managed to keep his voice low- or cut himself off before he started screaming, at least. Koujirou just managed an awkward nod.

“… Was he right? About… about what you feel?” There was no use denying his own feelings anymore, not when everyone was already well aware of them. All he could hope for now was to be let down gently, for Sakuma to still want him around after something like this.

“… He… he was…” Koujirou blinked, immediately looking up at him in disbelief. Had… had he really heard that right? “… Koujirou… I… I-I have feelings for you, alright? You- you’re not just my shinki, you’ve been such a good friend to me… I would never want anyone else more than I want you-” he could already feel his face burning. After so long trying to keep everything inside, not letting anything slip…

“I… I’m glad to hear that…” When Sakuma looked up, he was met with Koujirou’s soft smile. “I was worried that you wouldn’t like… knowing about this… finding out that your shinki had feelings for you…”

Taking a deep breath, Sakuma reached out to take his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze to reassure him.

“Trust me… there is nothing that would’ve made me happier than knowing that.”

Koujirou couldn’t quite manage to look away even when he tried to, his face already red up to the tip of his ears. How could he have been so blessed as to end up with such a kind, amazing god?

He didn’t think, not even once- Koujirou stood up to lean over the table and kissed him. Right on the lips.

Before he could pull back in sudden fear and shame once the realization of what he had done could dawn on him, Sakuma’s hands were already cupping his face and holding him closer, Sakuma leaning into the kiss. It took a good while for either of them to finally pull back, and when they did their face felt like they were burning. It was still a pleasant feeling, all the doubts of moments ago slowly fading as they stared into each other’s eyes.

When he managed to sit down again, Koujirou was still a bit too dumbfounded to fully process what had just happened. He… had just kissed his god. After letting him find out about his feelings. Said god had not only accepted everything without taking back his name in disgust, but welcomed it- returned his feelings. Feelings for his shinki.

“… D-does this mean we’re… uh… t-together…?”

Sakuma blinked. Stared at him. Suddenly, his face was feeling a _lot_ warmer.

_Right._ He hadn’t considered that yet, too busy even just managing to get their feelings out in the first place- even when it had been as forced as it was. Better than nothing… maybe.

“W-well… I… I-I guess-?” This was going to be the death of him- “I-if you want to, o-of course-!” Koujirou was already nodding before he could even finish, all too eager. Sakuma could almost picture a wagging tail and a pair of ears on top of his messy hair, hardly holding back a smile anymore. “Then… I guess we’re together now.”

Koujirou’s smile was so bright, Sakuma could’ve sworn it would blind him.

A moment later, and Koujirou was actually back on his seat, his cheeks still red as he looked away. He wanted to ask something, Sakuma could tell.

“What is it?” Koujirou kept glancing around, suddenly interested in the place.

“Then… this… can we make this our first date?” Oh- oh.

“… If that’s what you want, why not?”

By the time they managed to call over one of the waiters and receive theirs orders, the air between them was far more comfortable than it had been mere minutes ago, all the awkwardness, worries and fears now gone. They ate between friendly chatter and laughter, soft touches and intertwined fingers. Even once they were done, they still didn’t quite want to leave. All they wanted was to forget about their status, about being god and shinki, just living their life like any other normal mortal, even if it was just for a few moments.

When it was getting late, they reluctantly stood up to leave, Sakuma making sure that their tab was paid as Koujirou waited for him outside. As soon as he stepped out of the shop, Koujirou was taking his hand, a bright smile on his face.

“Ready to go home?” Sakuma quietly nodded in answer, a small smile on his face as he watched his shinki- his boyfriend at his side.

They had only been walking for a few minutes, still stalling for time, when Sakuma suddenly stopped. Koujirou turned to look at him in concern, raising an eyebrow in a silent question.

“… Hey, Koujirou…”

“What is it?” For a moment, he hesitated, almost regretting his decision to even ask in the first place. Koujirou gave his hand a gentle squeeze, a reminder that he was there to support him.

“Before we go back… can we do something first?”

“Of course- anything you want.” Sakuma nodded, more to himself than to answer him. There was no going back now.

Without a word, Sakuma walked with him towards the nearby temple and into the woods behind it.

"... Can I ask you something?" Sakuma just glanced at him, something Koujirou couldn't quite decipher shining in his good eye. Grief? Sadness? He wasn't sure anymore, it was gone before he could even tell what it was. Then, he wordlessly nodded, watching him expectantly. Koujirou wasn't so sure he wanted to ask anymore. Something pushed him to try anyways, an odd sense of familiarity refusing to leave once he saw the place. "What's that grave...? Is this the place you’ve been visiting without me…?"

For a moment, Sakuma froze, his smile strained and bitter. When he found the will to keep moving, he started to walk faster, almost desperate to get away from there.

"... It was just a friend. Don't worry about that." His smile still wasn’t genuine, a note of melancholy haunting it. Koujirou wasn’t convinced by his answer, but knew better than to push something like that.

“… I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Sakuma offered him his hand. Koujirou didn't hesitate to take it.

"Come on, let's go home now."


End file.
